Cool Mom Envy

They tell you that you can't mentally prepare yourself for motherhood. That no matter what, it's going to blow your mind. Sleep deprivation, delayed personal hygiene, postpartum, and a unbelievable  amount of diapers - these are the things you expect.

My totally beautiful, insanely cool friends.

I read the books, I had the talks with experienced moms, but what wasn't covered in 'What to Expect When You're Expecting' was probably one of hardest brick walls I've hit - Mommy Envy.

The amount of awesome, interesting, pulled together, cool moms I'm surrounded by is really,  really intimidating.

I'm going to pull the 'home schooled' card and say, I've never been so surrounded by so many peers in my life. It seems everywhere I look, some mom is pulling the 'Sofie' giraffe out and handing it to her adorable baby who's little leather moccasins cost more than my entire outfit.

Instagram has always been a great validation check point in my life. I hate saying that, but real talk, you know it's true. When the moms I have deemed as the 'cool moms' like a picture of my little girl I'm like...yeahhh...

Wooh, honesty is not pretty in blog format. Oh well.

As my baby naps, I sneak off to the office to write. I'm wearing an oversized grey sweater that belongs to my husband, my hair has been in this same bun for at least 2+ days, my mascara tube is running dry and I'm totally not wearing a bra.

I don't feel like a 'cool mom' at all. I feel like the world is a cafeteria and I don't know where to sit and I've been standing in the same spot for too long and it''s getting more awkward by the moment.

Maybe if I brushed my hair once in a while, or ran off to Buffalo Exchange and swapped some stuff around...Maybe if I wrote 'thee' blog, and went viral. Maybe if, maybe if...

I may not be a 'cool mom' but I'll tell you one thing,

My daughter thinks I'm the greatest thing ever and my husband thinks I'm super hot. I have some new projects in the works, I'm job hunting again, I feel God's hand in my life and I'm surrounded by loved ones. My friends are beautiful and 'cool mom-ing' it in the best way. My church feels like a home, and my home feels like crazy mess of joy.

So yeah, I may not be a 'cool mom' and that may be kind of intimidating sometimes, but at the end of the day, I don't need to be 'cool' because honestly - I'd rather by cuddly with my baby and my husband watching some crazy documentary of Netflix and passing out by 10pm.

----

Charlotte is 6 months old, she's insanely adorable, she likes to growl and make chirping-happy-screaming sounds, especially first thing in the morning - usually before the sun rises.  She likes to roll over and sleep on her side but gets really upset when she ends up on her tummy. And she loves guitars.