I had to pull my blinds and shut my office door today,
I've been waiting for the words to come, for the eulogy my Grandma deserves, but it's been a few days and the words haven't hit me.
Till now,
My boyfriend sent me a video of Tom Lehrer singing "We Will All Go Together, When We Go"
and it hit me like a brick wall.
The reason the words haven't come, was because I somehow never believed they would have to come, and so begins,
My Grandmothers Eulogy -
Me and my Grandma had a joke, a joke that she would obviously outlive us all. She outlived her husband, her son, and her dog. The joke would start the same way every time,
Grandma would say, "I'm a wicked old bat!"
And I would finish with "Who will outlive us all!"
And we would laugh.
It was in highschool, with a license, I began to visit my Grandma on my own. Once a week, sometimes twice, I would order us food from the burger joint down the street, I would pick at chicken fingers and fries, and she would pick at the burger I'd cut into quarters, and we would share the secret milk shake that neither of us ever drank much of, but that we always ordered - just because we weren't supposed too.
Every time I visited my Grandma I would stalk in wearing some giant pair of heels that were completely impractical, but she loved. The first thing she would always ask me was if I needed a tissue for those 'nose bleeders', and then she'd make a comment about what great legs I had, she never once told me my dress was too short, which it always was, or that a mens x-large sweater and tights wasn't a full outfit, she would just tell me my legs looked great, and to enjoy it while i was young!
It was during these lunch visits I learned who my Grandma really was.
She told me stories of the men who made advances on her, who had 'wandering hands' and who 'expected more then they deserved' and whom she always curtly put in their place.
One of my favorite stories my Grandma told me, and re-told me many times upon request, was when after a date had walked her to her door, and made his intentions clear - she told him that he was not welcomed in for the night, and when he replied with 'don't you know who i am? who are you to say no to me'
she simply replied
"I'm no one special, but if I don't respect myself, nobody will."
In these days following my Grandmas passing, the tragedy I'm left with is this,
My Grandma believed these words.
Instead of replying 'I'm a beautiful, educated, self-sufficient women" she chose "I'm no one special"
I've told my Grandma more times then I can count, that she was my hero.
In a time when women rarely sought further education, she gained a degree
My Grandma was an amazing figure skater, and she passed down her custom made skates to me, because I happened to be in a phase, and they happened to fit. Those skates were the catalyst to countless outings with my sisters, with my friends, never getting any good, but always having fun.
My Grandma was music, I spent my teens banging out terrible mopey songs on her piano. She never told me I was bad, but she did encourage me to find my key...
My Grandma coudln't be held back by anything, in 2000 when she suffered a full stroke, she recovered competely and went on to tour with a choir, sining and traveling when she was told she may never regain the mnuscle movement of her face.
